Sarah Silverman Continously Hittin’ Punch Lines

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During the NY Comedy festival, Sarah Silverman conducted roaring laughter at her sold-out Hammerstein Ballroom show this past Saturday.  She was grooving on the whole shebang from her relationship with Jimmy Kimmel to President Obama. 

To no surprise,  Silverman’s shtick was very racial, but all was fair game.

The NY posts recalls acouple witty nuggets: 

“Saying how excited she was to attend a “who’s who” LA fund-raiser for the president-elect a year ago, Silverman said she was able to walk right up and ask him: “‘Sen. Obama, when you were in school in Boston, did you encounter any racism?’ And he said something really interesting.  He said, um.  He said, ‘I’m Kayne West.’” 

She also  branded jokes on Angelina Jolie and Madonna:

“I would like to adopt someday, thank you.  I think if you adopt, you really have to go brown with it because otherwise you don’t get the credit.”

The show was hit after hit of her elementary Mitch Hedberg-esq executions.

It sure is refreshing to have a crafty female in comedy.

Jerry Springer Feels Important

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Smutty talk show host, Jerry Springer, feels important today as his handprints are unveiled at a Planet Hollywood in Time Square, NYC.

Classy.

A huge party was held where the joyful TV therapist was seen signing autographed pictures of himself.  Springer had tears in the eyes when the host got on the mic and  proclaimed his name throughout the restaurant. 

JERRY, JERRY, JERRY!

Drunk overweight tourists and trailer-trash all over america are relieved that the time has finally come when Mr. Springer is recognized for his great work.

His hands will be forever showcased on a wall- next to a list of dinner specials.

Sources are not sure whose hand prints will be featured next, but rumors are circulating.

 Maybe world renowned actor. Ron Jeremy?

Jennifer Love Hewitt’s 6th Sense

Allegedly, Jennifer Love Hewitt communicates with spirits off screen.  The star of TV series, “Ghost Whisperer” had lived in a creepy house possesed by real life ghosts, until, a call-for-hire ghostbuster (this is not a joke) exterminated them.  

The spirit of a previous tenant and a young man would follow Hewitt.  They’d march around the house, turning the lights on and off, giving Jennifer the Hebe Jebes and stealing her vitality. 

If thats not enough, the ghosts spoke to Hewitt and relayed messages, then would immediatley vanish.  And the New York Post reports, “Jennifer Love Hewitt communicates with one friend who has gone beyond and says this friend keeps in touch in the form of a dragonfly.”

Crazy!

Marlboro Pesci

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Joe Pesci smokes mad cigarettes.  He was in the Breeder’s Cup stands sucking down lung darts like Marlboro was going out of business. Pesci might be, clinically, a chain smoker.  Sources didn’t see the man without a cigarette, once.

Just look at the size of that drag!

Puff, puff the magic dragon Joe.

This got me wondering, maybe Pesci always plays the amazing roles of stressed out angry maniacs, because he is a genuinely tense guy.   Whatever the reason,  Joe should find a more flattering habit.

Tom Green is more amusing than you

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Tom has new arm candy, Mary, who resembles Kim Kardashian.  The man was so proud of her.  We saw him introducing the enormously big-breasted Mary to everyone. 

At one part of the evening, we overheard a guy talking to the couple and he seemed to be more impressed with Mary than the single testicle bearing comedian.  He was talking to her on and on, and really tried to pinpoint her ethnic backround, asking her, ”Hey what Nationality are you?” 

The lovely Mary smiled. ”I’m Puerto-Rican, Irish, and Spanish.”  

The man said that he was also mix, which provoked Mr. Green to shout,  ”Hey, I’m Canadien!” 

 This guy and the rest of the United States  who find it extremely easy to make fun of Canada, mustered the confidence to take a shot at the akward Canucuk.   So he says, “Canadien! that’s so boring.”

Har..Har..  

 Tom didn’t care, he got the last line saying, “Yeah, but I can make maple syrup really fast!”      

Hair-do with reception!

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Coolio was at Russel Simmon’s party and was sportin’ a new hair-style .  Is that hair or  did the man who brought you “Gangster’s Paradise” glue TV antennas to his head?  Oh well, even if you don’t like the experimental style, you got to respect the fact that those two dreads are actually sprouting out of his doo-rag!

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Coolio’s hair has picked up signals of strange sexy-curvey women who like to show off their garters at classy parties- nice!